


Dreams We Had to Silence

by Spyridon



Category: Fast and the Furious Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Major Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10893333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spyridon/pseuds/Spyridon
Summary: When he left, he didn't leave behind a letter for you to read or a note saying he was sorry. But he did leave one thing and that was you, his greatest pride and joy.





	Dreams We Had to Silence

* * *

_Please forgive me for the sorrow, for leaving you in fear_   
_For the dreams we had to silence, that's all they'll ever be_   
_Still I'll be the hand that serves you_   
_Though you'll not see that it is me_

~ **Within Temptation** , " _Hand of Sorrow_ ", **_The Unforgiving_**

* * *

A loud crash echoed through the previously silent house as the front door slammed against the wall, rebounding violently on its hinges as the only male of the house stormed through the hallway. He didn't pause as he headed for the second story, his feet stomping on the steps. An older woman followed him, slamming the door shut as he stepped onto the landing, blinking back the tears in her eyes.

"Where are you going? I'm not done talking with you!" Mia O'Conner yelled, her voice cracking.

"Well too bad! I'm done talking with YOU!" The door to her son's room slammed shut, ending their volatile conversation.

Mia buried her face into her hands, sobbing silently. So distraught she was that she didn't notice her brother enter the house from the back, wiping his hands on the dirty, oiled rag that he dropped on the hallway table. Dominic Toretto wrapped his arms, tucking his sister into his broad chest. "What happened, Mia?"

"I got a call today from the school. Jack was caught arguing with another student again. Two teachers interrupted the argument before it could erupt into a fight. The school is threatening that if he doesn't control his temper, he'll get expelled." Mia answered brokenly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I can't seem to get through to him. He never tries to listen to me and he doesn't care about anything. He's failing his classes and the teachers are saying if he keeps this up, he won't be able to graduate high school."

Dom sighed. Despite his and the team's best efforts, Jack had grown up to be a difficult child, sneaking out at night and smoking pot. Despite their rocky childhoods with cars and the races, they had never once taken a drug into their bodies or been so delinquent like Jack was being. Again, just like everyone else, Dom wondered how things would have been different had Brian survived Ian Shaw's retribution for the death of his brother. He quickly discarded that thought. It was the same thinking that led to Dom being bitter about the death of his father. Unfortunately, life was the way it was and Jack had been left without a father despite Brian's attempts to make sure he would always be there for his son.

"I think it's time that Jack knows about how Brian died, Mia." Dom said quietly.

"No, Dom. He's still too young. He's not an adult yet." Mia began to protest, pulling away from her brother. Her hands fisted his dirty t-shirt.

"If he's beating up other kids and doing the things he's done that Dad would have killed us for, I think he's mature enough to know the truth." He looked into Mia's watery eyes. "You can't keep shielding him from the truth, Mia."

"But Dom."

"No, Mia. It's time."

She bowed her head, her tears falling to the floor. "I'm just afraid that it'll tip him over the edge."

"It's a risk that we have to take but I think he'll rise above it." Dom kissed her head. "Are you going to stay here?"

"No. I think I should leave the two of you alone. You know where you can find me." He immediately caught the reference. She was going to go to the beach where she had taken Brian, her little piece of the beach they had gone to at night after their first date.

"Drive safe." Mia nodded, wiping at her eyes again. She smiled before leaving, the door locking shut behind her.

Dom let out another heavy sigh. He was going to have to tread lightly. Like a Toretto, Jack had inherited the quicksilver temper that all male Torettos had, something that was not characteristic of his father who kept his cool even in the direst of circumstances. His lips turned upward at the thought of Brian's final defiance. The smile quickly went away as he remembered that Brian received a bullet in his chest a few seconds later, only for death to come minutes later in Mia's arms as they tried to stem the bleeding.

He went up the stairs past the closed door. He had a feeling that Jack was on his bed, listening to his iWatch on full blast. Dom first went to the closest where he quickly changed, getting rid of the oil marks on his skin. Once he was dressed comfortably, he headed back down the hallway. He tried the door but found it locked. With the buds in his ears, there was no way Jack was going to hear his knocks. _That scraps Plan A._ Dom mused lightly. He reminded himself to thank Hobbs later for teaching him new tricks, including how to bust open a door with a kick. Stepping back a foot, Dom lifted his right leg and delivered a perfect kick right next to the doorjamb. The wood splintered immediately, the handle falling to the floor as it broke free of the door. Without a care in the world, he stepped into the room as Jack rolled out of bed, pulling the buds out of his ears.

"What the hell are you doing? I don't to talk to anyone." Jack said angrily.

Dom studied the teenager before him, once again reveled how much his only nephew looked like his father. He had Brian's lean, muscular build, his frame reaching 6 foot even. At that rate, he was probably going to be taller than his dad who had stood at 6 foot 1. His dirty blonde hair, just a tad bit darker than his father's, was spiked. His jaw was a little broader, his complexion a little darker. None of those characteristics, however, from the hair or the build that screamed Brian. No, it was the brilliant blue eyes that were now staring back at Dom with the same cool fire that his father had. Seeing that familiar but almost forgotten flame had Dom's stomach clench in knots at the memories that had faded with time.

"We need to talk."

"I don't want to."

"Well, too bad." Dom parroted the words Jack had used earlier against his mother back at him. He stepped forward, taking the buds away from Jack who protested. "This talk has been a while in coming. Your aunt and uncles thought you would grow out of this but I guess drastic moves have to be done before you self-destruct spectacularly. Come on, I have to show you something."

"I thought you were going to talk." Jack said sullenly, not budging an inch.

"I never started where. Move your butt before I decide to make it move." Dom growled, not letting the teenager's attitude dictate the path of the conversation. God, how many times had Vince tried to do that with him back before they had ever heard the name of Brian Earl Spilner? The teenager hesitated before moving, dragging his feet in quiet protest.

"Where are we going?"

"To the garage at the back of the house."

"You mean shack." Jack sarcastically muttered under his breath. Dom didn't answer, following him down the stairs and to the backyard. When he had the doors slamming and the yelling, he had closed the large barn-style doors but hadn't locked it as was his protocol. Letty had lightly chided Dom on how much he protected the priceless treasures that lay inside, waiting to be let loose on the streets they had once conquered but everyone knew why Dom was so guarded about who knew what was insider the decrepit barn. It was thirteen years in the waiting.

Despite Jack's best attempts, he couldn't quite hide the curiosity that burned inside of him. Dom nodded at the closed door. "Go on." The teenager reached out and pulled open the door, the hinges creaking on its decades old hinges. In the dark of the garage, Jack's eyes adjusted until he saw what was sitting there. Before him, there were two cloth-covered piles, undoubtedly vehicles by the tires peeking from under the tarps. The fresh grease stains on the right side indicated that Dom had been working on it when they arrived at the house and hastily covered it up before heading to see what the commotion was about.

"Can I?"

"Go ahead. It's been a long time coming."

Jack grabbed a corner of the tarp and began peeling it back, reveling an old classic, a refurbished 1970 Dodge Charger. From being around cars his whole life, Jack knew this car was carefully tended for, the paint still gleaming, the chrome still as bright. He also instinctively knew that this vehicle would roar the moment its engine turned over. "Whose car was this?"

"It was mine and before that, my father's." Dom answered, moving around, his eyes on the dark, silent beast before him. The memories from long ago came back, the old words echoing in his ears. "It's been with me for so long, it's a part of me." He chuckled. "Your aunt says that I've spilt so much of my blood on it that it's practically a relation at this point."

"Are we going to go take it for a test drive?"

"No." Dom sat down on a stool, still not looking at Jack. He was standing in the same place that _he_ had stood 20 years before. "As I said, it's time that we talk."

Jack scoffed, pacing. "I don't want to talk. Why doesn't anyone get that? If I wanted to talk, then I would have asked."

Dom continued to stare in the matte black paint on the side panel of the Charger. "Because you feel that no one would understand you, and you hate that they don't try harder." The teenager paused his pacing, looking at Dom. "It's the same way I felt when my father died on that track so long ago."

"I know that Grandpa died-" Jack started.

Interrupting, Dom finally looked up. "You don't know what happened after, the catalyst that set everything into motion and the reason why your father met your mother." He was dismissed to see Jack wave off the mention of Brian.

"I don't care about that fool. He was never here for me so why should I care for him? I'm getting along fine without him."

"Your school records show that amply." Dom quipped, Jack jutting his chin out. "My father died in a crash that was caused by another driver. Instead of seeing it as a tragic accident that left your mother and I orphans, I began to resent the fact that the man had done something that ended up with my father dying. I was focused so much on that one thought that he should have done something to prevent my father's death that it began to turn to hate and soon, I began to believe that he should pay for what he had done. When I saw him the next time, I didn't even think. The only thing I remember that my hands were slick with blood and the wrench in my hand felt heavier than before." In the silence of the garage, Dom heard Jack's inhale. "In the end, I was sent to jail for ruining that man's life. He died later after complication from the injury, having lived in meager conditions due to his reduced ability to work.

"Going to jail on felony charges severely limits your options after you leave. On the movies, it may look glamorous but it isn't. Inside, there's always someone stronger, faster, bigger than you. After I was released, there was very little that I could do, having not finished high school. Luckily, I had my skills as a mechanic and a racer. Unfortunately, I never learned my lesson. In order to make ends meet, I had the team, my family, at the time to begin hijacking semi-trucks that delivered the goods to stores. We were good at it. The cash was coming in and we were living the dream.

"Or so we thought. The increased hijackings had attracted the attention of the FBI. At the time, we didn't know that they had sent in an undercover cop-"

"Are you telling me that my mom feel in love with a pig?" Jack exclaimed. "No wonder he left. He probably didn't want to ruin his name."

"That's far from the truth." Jack opened his mouth to interrupt but Dom cut him off. "Think about it, this was before you were born." The mouth closed. "But yes, the undercover cop was your father. In the end, however, he turned his back on them and let me go, making him a fugitive as well. To make a long story short, we met up with him five years later when we thought your Aunt Letty was murdered by a drug trafficker after being run by Brian who had been pardoned and was an FBI agent. Turned out, she had lost her memory and was manipulated into joining an international criminal in his dangerous raids. After helping me escape custody a second time, Brian, your mother and I were on the run when she fell pregnant. Your father was ecstatic but scared."

"Why was he scared?"

"Because he didn't want to be like his father who had never been there for him."

"That's rich. That is exactly what he did."

"It wasn't his choice. The life you could have had was taken from you and him." Dom swallowed. "When I learned that Letty was still alive, I jumped at the chance to get her back. Your father went with me along with the rest of the family. In the end, we ended killing the mastermind behind it all. Unfortunately, we forgot he had a brother." Dom looked at the Charger. "He came back and killed him."

"Why didn't my dad fight if he didn't want to leave me or mom behind?"

"Because he was protecting you." The simple statement stunned Jack who hadn't know that small detail. "Despite the lessons we had learned with the younger Shaw, his cunning was nothing compared to that of his older brother. We did everything we could to protect you but it still wasn't enough. The only reason why you're still alive today is because Brian was able to piece together what Shaw was planning to do and went back just in time to kill the henchmen that apprehended you. He wasn't leave, however, before Shaw turned up to personally end your life."

The look on Jack's face was incomprehension, as if he didn't believe that his own father would sacrifice his own life to save his son's. "Dad gave up his life to save mine?"

"You were his son, Jack. He loved your more than anything. If it meant yours or his, he knew which one he would hand over."

"That's why Mom hates me so much." Jack murmured, guilt creeping into his face. "I'm the reason why Dad's dead."

"No. It was never because of that. More than anything, it was probably because she thinks that she failed your father and you." At Jack's bewildered look, Dom continued. "Out of everything you could ever leave behind, you hope that you raised your child to be the person they were meant to be. You have a lot of potential, just like Brian did. You're smart despite how badly you perform in class. You care about others and you pull people to you. The thing that's killing your mother though is the fact that you're not living up to your potential. In that, Mia feels that she failed as a mother and that more than anything is the most distressing feeling for a parent."

Jack was silent for a long while, absorbing what his uncle had told him. The light outside changed colors, the almost white light turning yellow, orange, pink, and finally purple as the sun dipped closer to the end of the horizon. "This whole time I thought that he had left us, left me but he didn't want to."

"No, he didn't. He wanted to stay with here, with you, with Mia. After you were born, he wouldn't shut up about what he wanted to do." Dom's eyes dilated as he remembered, the image of a tired but grinning Brian chatting nonstop while Mia slept after the birth. "Despite his earlier reservations, he wanted to have at least one more kid so you wouldn't be alone, hopefully three more if Mia would let him. He was going to buy a house on a couple of acres so he you would have room to play. He was even going to build a garage to house the cars you would drive even if Mia was protesting against it. He even had the car picked out for you." Dom stood up. Jack turned in his seat to watch as his uncle went to the second tarp covered vehicle and pulled it off. In the gloom, Jack saw the gleaming silver edges of a more recent ride, the blue streaks flaring over the sides. Squinting, he saw the silver and red logo on the side.

"A Nissan, GTR?"

"Your father's. When he left, he didn't leave behind a letter for you to read or a note saying he was sorry. But he did one thing and that was you, his greatest pride and joy. It didn't feel right, though, that you had nothing of your father's; not his LAPD badge, his FBI badge, not even memories." Dom threw the tarp to the side, eyeing the car sadly. "Tej helped find it in the police lot in Miami after your father died. We were able to restore pretty easily as it was only knocked out of commission due to an ESD Harpoon. As the years passed, I've kept it updated."

Jack stood up slowly, his blue eyes on the car. His hand touched the cool metal, trailing the edge of the hood to the left side mirror. Some of the logos on the hood he had never heard of. The racing stripes on the car were from an older time. Before he realized it, his hand had slipped into the door handle and opened it, quickly closing the driver's side door. He slid into the car seat, his hands gripping the wheel. At that moment, Jack felt something, a second presence. Swallowing thickly, Jack looked up at his uncle who had moved from the other side of the car. He rolled down the window. "I was wrong about everything. I only made my mom suffer more."

"Yes you were but it wasn't your fault. It was our mistake to hide the truth behind your father's death. You had the right to know. Just remember that bitterness is a choice just as is happiness." Dom leaned in the window, his face shadowed. "There's still one more place you have to go but I'm not coming with you." His hand opened up, revealing a single key. "You don't have your driver's license yet so be careful."

Jack took the key. "Where am I going?" He listened carefully to the directions that his uncle gave him.

"Be careful." Dom stepped back, heading to open the garage all the way. Jack stared at the silver key in his hand. Carefully he placed it in the ignition and turned the engine over. The car purred to live, the vibrations of the engine echoing in Jack's chest. He let the car edge past, angling down the slope. With a final glance in the mirror, Jack turned onto the street and drove away.

* * *

The breeze coming off the ocean was cold but Mia couldn't feel the sting as she watched the waves roll in. Her jacket was wrapped around her frame, her bare feet digging into the coarse sand. She the only one by the lifeguard shack, not a single person around for miles. From where the water ran back into the Pacific to the farthest edge of the horizon, the ocean was a deep blue color.

The same color that Brian's eyes when they laid together in bed. She closed her eyes, remembering the feel of his calloused hands running through her hair, across her body. The beat of his heart pumping red hot blood through his body, his breath rolling over her skin. She bit back a sob. Even now, the pain of losing him was fresh. After everything they had gone through, after all the times their dreams had been in their grasp only for it to melt away, Mia still had dreams of her and her son's life would have been had they taken Jack with them instead of playing right into Shaw's hands.

Opening her eyes, she placed her face on her knees. She should have gone with Brian. If he had back up, they probably could have shot their way out and probably killed Shaw then. Or maybe Jack would have been raised only by Dom and Letty, orphaned at the tender age of 3. So many what ifs; what if they hadn't killed Owen Shaw; what if Letty had never left that fingerprint; what if they had never met Hobbs; what if Vince had never made that deal with Reyes; what if she had never gotten pregnant; what if Dom had been released like the FBI promised, what if Letty had really died; what if Brian had never let Dom go over 20 years ago. What if? What if?

But if that had happened, Jack would never have been born.

And despite everything that had happened, Mia would never change that.

Her only regret now was the fact that despite everything she tried, her son was drifting away from her.

"Oh, Brian. What would you say now if you saw Jack doing the crap he was pulling?" Mia asked the wind, her words lost as they were blown away. She had tried everything to get Jack back on track, to be what he was meant to be, whatever it was. When Jack was growing up, she had the dreams that he would straight to college and graduate, a dream that was Mia's unrealized dream. At Halloween when he was younger, Mia would catch a glimpse of all the possibilities laid out before Jack, dressed a doctor, a soldier, a mechanic, a racer. The list went on. Yet high school graduation was only 2 years away and the clock was winding down. At the moment, Jack's grades were not high enough to meet the recommendations to get into Cal State LA.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her ears picked up the rumble of a familiar engine, one that she hadn't heard for years. Turning around in shock, she saw the silver visage of the car ambled up the street, carefully rolling on the sand so as not to suck it up into the engine. The sound cut off and Mia stood up, staring into the low beams, her hands clutching her chest. The driver's side door opened the driver stepping out. Mia's eyes widened as she caught sight of Brian standing there, an arm draped casually over the door, his other hand on the roof, his trade smirk on his lips. The visage opened its mouth.

"Mom?" The image of her dead husband shattered, the smirk turning into a concerned look, the person dropping in height. Mia dropped to the floor. "Mom!" Hands reached out to her, roaming over her shoulders, looking for injuries. The fingers were softer, the touch not as heavy or sure. "Mom, are you okay?"

Mia drew in a rattled breath, trying to calm her heart beat as it pounded viciously against her chest. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just shaken up a bit."

As Mia calmed down, Jack sat back to study his mom. Her hair was mostly black, a few streaks of grey shooting through it. Her frame had filled out a bit more than the glimpses he caught in photos around the house. The area under her eyes were purplish in color. The edges of her mouth was wrinkled as well as her forehead. The line of her shoulders were dropped as if a great weight had settled there, stopping her back. Jack started as it realized how far he had pushed his mom.

"I'm sorry for not taking care of you." He said, his eyes dropping to the sand. "Uncle D told me about Dad."

"I didn't want to burden you with the knowledge of your father's death." Mia laid a hand on her son's cheek, waiting until he met her eyes. "We both loved you so much, Jack. It hurt knowing that despite the wealth we had accumulated, we couldn't provide you with a normal life that you deserved, free of watching your back, of wondering if the next day you would be lying dead in a ditch somewhere."

"I always thought he left us voluntarily. It made me wonder if there was something wrong with me that my own dad left me behind. And I blamed you for not stopping him."

"I tried too, honey. I tried to stop the bleeding so we could get Brian to the hospital as fast as possible but there was so much damage. Your father tried to hold on but it was his time."

"It's not fair."

"Life's not fair. All we can do is run with what's been given to us." Mia touched her forehead to his, her hands wiping away his tears. "The only thing we can control is the emotions in reaction to what's happening."

Jack nodded, understanding what she telling him. "I'll talk with my teachers when they let me return to school. I'll need to rise my grades if I want to get into college."

Mia let out a shaky laugh that turned serious. "It'll be a hard road, Jack."

Shrugging his shoulders, Jack gave her a small smile. "It's a good thing that I have Toretto and O'Conner blood in me. We're notoriously stubborn."

"That we are. The Toretto-O'Conner clan has endured and will endure again." Jack got up, helping his mom to his feet. He started to head to his mom's Kia Sol when he noticed she wasn't following him. "Mom?"

"Despite my reservations, I wouldn't mind taking a spin in the GTR one last time."

Knowing that his mother wanted to see the car back on the road, Jack went around the Nissan and slid into the driver's seat. When they returned home, Uncle Dom or Aunt Letty would come and pick up the car. The engine turned over once more, the car coming to life. "I never saw your father riding this car though I heard the stories from Rome and Tej about how good Brian was in it, having remained undefeated in Miami."

"Was my dad a good driver?"

"The only person that ever beat him was your Uncle Dom." The two of them locked eyes, exchanging emotions and promises in that one look. Jack inhaled, choking on knowing how much his father had loved him. Exhaling slowly, he broke the stare, carefully maneuvering the Nissan around and driving it back onto the street, heading for home.

* * *

~ _Six Years Later_ ~

The August day was a little chilly but not uncomfortably so as it was a relief from the blistering heat that had seared LA the past week. Despite the high temperatures, the grass around him was a healthy green, not a hint of brown anywhere. Jack reached up and plucked the dark navy blue hat from his head, carefully kneeing down before the white gravestone before him. The shadowed recess where the letters had been carefully etched caught his eyes. At the base, a carefully handcrafted bouquet of roses and lilies lay, the colors of the petals vibrant against the white stone. Two similar bouquets were carefully laid on the two gravestones immediately to the left. Laying a white-gloved hand gently on the marble surface, the young man started to speak.

"Hey, dad, it's me Jack. I guess it's been a long while since I last saw you. I know I should have come earlier but I wanted to have some news that would have made you proud." Jack reached up to his left breast and unclipped the metal shield there, holding it carefully in his hands. "I just wanted to tell you that I graduated from the LAPD Police Academy at the top of my class like you did. They're assigning me to Metro even though I'm a newbie. Probably because I also graduated from Cal State LA with a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice and a minor in Forensics. We were all shocked when I got into Cal State LA with a 2.1 GPA. Mom's been lightly worried that I might get hurt." He ran a thumb over the outer edge. "Aunt Letty and the others were befuddled that I was going to join the LAPD after announcing my choice for my undergraduate degree. I think I even shocked Aunt Elena and Uncle Hobbs.

"Except for Uncle Dom. I think he understood why I was doing this." Jack clipped the badge back onto his uniform, fixing the tie. "The only things he made me promise was that I don't do undercover work besides what's necessary and that I don't let wanted suspects go. I guess he doesn't want me to fall in love while on the job. I mean, your romance with Mom sounds like a fairy tale, a disgraced cop turning back on the LAPD and running off with the woman he loved." Jack paused. "Mom's doing well. Now that I've graduated, she went back to school and is working on Microbiology degree. I don't know if she still wants to be a doctor but she's been thinking about it. Aunt Letty and Uncle Dom do what they always do best; make the fastest cars. Thankfully, Uncle Hobbs worked on getting Uncle Dom back to the professional tracks even though he's still banned from actually racing. He oversees a pretty decent race crew. They're planning to break into the NASCAR circuit. Uncle Rome and Uncle Tej went back to Miami. Tej actually hooked back up with Suki and they now have 4 children. I think Suki got him to stop getting her pregnant or he'd lose the truck and more. As you probably guessed Uncle Rome hasn't settled at all. Aunt Elena had two children; a boy and a girl. The boy's named Brian after you."

Jack took the time to carefully trace the etchings, memorizing the look of the stone. "Plus, I have a girlfriend. We've been dating for almost two years now. I really think she's the one as I don't believe that I would have finished with the high grades I did. I think you would have liked her, Dad. She's smart, funny, cares about other people but doesn't take their shit. She reminds me a bit of Aunt Letty with Mom's compassion for people. Uncle Rome teases it's a good mix since I'm a little like Uncle Dom." Jack ran out of things to say, streaking a hand through his hair and staring out across the graveyard. "I just hope I can do you proud, Dad, to show that your sacrifice wasn't in vain, that it meant something." Standing up, Jack placed his cap back on. "I'll try to come around soon. Maybe I'll bring Mom next time. See ya around, Dad." Spinning around, Jack headed back across the lightly rolling hills, heading for the silver Nissan in the distance.

Behind him, the August sun shone on the polished gravestone, light reflecting from the water droplets on the soft petals. The leaves waved as the breeze blew. All around, everything was silent.

Brian O'Conner  
September 12th, 1973 – November 30th, 2013  
Loving Husband and Father, Cherished Friend

You know that you are in love when the hardest thing to do is say good-bye.  
\- Author Unknown


End file.
